Oh Holy The Christ...it's already Monday?

Okay. So I apologize to anyone that actually reads this. We are officially at 15 days out, which means that it's time to kick ass and take names. I knew this would happen and that I wouldn't get to blog every day, but hell, this is just buh-diculous. It's been a crazy week and I'll bet your patootie that it'll get worse.

So I will attempt, in a very sincere way, to update you all on this week that has been very eventful, stressful at times, sleep-depriving - but fun as hell. I warn you, this might be long, despite my attempt at what my Coro FPNY Class would consider "pithy" (yup, kudos to Friar Junior out there - and I doubt they read it, but Happy Birthday Chi-Chi, Mosh Pierre, and Junior - sorry I missed it). So instead, think of this like a highlights reel.

Oh, I can already tell this is going to be a good one. Feel free to stop back and read it in parts, I will attempt to do it in a consecutive manner from the beginning of the week. Ah, and chances are, I'll be doing this weekly, unless by some chance of the gods, I have a free moment. But then again, I'd rather use that for sleep. But keep checking back, I promise it'll be worth your while. Well, I don't know about that. But I will get some in when I can.

I DON'T CARE IF I'M IN THE MIDWEST, I WANT MY ALCS, DURNIT!
First and foremost (this is for Jaclyn if she ever reads this), working on a campaign during the ALCS playoffs is definitely not the ideal way to watch my beloved Bronx Bombers SQUASH the Red Sox, but hey, I'll take this any way I can. Between watching "Gameday" on my computer, hearing it on the radio, and running out to watch the big plays on color TV in the big room during the game, at least I'm getting my exercise. And yes, I realize that the BoSux have won two games now in a row, but that's just fine with me. It was getting boring watching a sweep, though I did enjoy watching Kerry sweep Bush. This is what October is about.

IF YOU BUILD IT...
So on Tuesday, Phil Robinson stopped by (stop scratching your head), the man who wrote the screenplay and directed "Field of Dreams." I know you all know that movie. "If you build it, he will come." Here's the best part - when he directed the movie out here, it basically created 30,000 jobs in the making of it - which is 30,000 more jobs than Bush has created in Iowa - actually, we've lost something like 28,000 here. Hmmm. Funny. See, anyone can basically do better than the Dubya if they just tried. This would be funny under different circumstances. Except that he's our President. Shudder. Not for long if we have our way.

HE MUST HAVE GOTTEN THAT STATISTIC OFF OF THE INTERNETS.
Wednesday was our last debate and I have to say that with the exception of my bias that the wheel is running and the hamster is dead in Bush's brain, he did decently enough. Of course, I was making a poster at the time and so I was listening to it more than watching it and he sounded angry and defensive. Kerry was a cool cucumber. But this was a wonky debate and after a few nights of no sleep, it sounded like the Peanuts at parts with some good measure of Dr. Evil thrown in: "Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah...education...bloo bloo bloo bloo...health care...wah-wah-wah...education...blee blee blee." And Dubya's answer to everything is education, which is just so amusing, given that he is the epitome of what happens when your parents have the pull to get you into an Ivy League college and in the Reserves during Vietnam when you have the IQ of a bowl of hair. Yes, I know we constantly "misunderestimate" him, but come the hell on. Yes, I'm tired, and I'm sure it's showing in my choice of language, but whatever, the Yankees just lost game 5 (and my sunny optimism isn't gone, it's just hidden under layers of exhaustion).

HEY KID, TRY NOT TO POKE SOMEONE'S EYE OUT WITH THE FREE FLAG AND BROOM THEY HAND YOU - AND WHY ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS TO MY CAMERA IN CHINESE?
Not only did I get to meet John Sweeney, but Thursday brought a historic event, the first time that John Kerry, Teresa Heinz Kerry, John Edwards, and Elizabeth Edwards have been together on the same stage since accepting the nomination at the Democratic Convention. That and a 15,000 (estimated) crowd to make the rally the largest political rally in Iowa history, plus butt-cold weather made for an interesting night. I would write more about this, but it was just awesome. We endured the cold and stood for more than 6 hours, but we were right in front, there was AFSCME green in every camera shot, I saw another friend from the McCall campaign, I didn't step on or kill the kid that was standing next to me, and because I was wearing my vintage "Up Kerry" hat from his 1982 Lieutenant Governor campaign I got a smile and wave and a thumbs up from our next president. Well, that's also because Megan shouted "Up Kerry" at an opportune moment, he happened to look over as she was pointing to my hat and he acknowledged it - but he saw it, okay? I was happy with that. Though Teresa Heinz Kerry didn't really know what to make of it until he gave me the thumbs - the hat is bright green when they thought he was an Irish patrician from Boston so while it sounds negative, it actually means "Go Kerry" - love those Irish (that was for you, my little Mahoney Potato). P.S. Teresa is beautiful, the pictures do not do her any justice. Oh, and I had Senator Kerry's chest in my face by the end of the night as he reached into the crowd, and part of Senator Edwards' shoulder and if it wasn't for that damn kid next to me hogging the political spotlight (he's a political junkie at the ripe age of 8), I might not have gotten passed over as the kid ran me over to get to Edwards. So didn't get to shake his hand, but I had his shoulder in my mouth. Eh - what can you do? I got some great pics, though you won't see them since my digital camera decided to flitz out on me and since it's an old-school digital from Asia, the directions aren't in English. Neeeeat. But we got a disposable, we're all good.

Some highlights from the rally: using my ever-present NYC skills to get Staff passes for the AFSCME staff, Marsha throwing American flags into the crowd before realizing that was a mistake, Megan and I doing the butt-dance a la Homestar Runner to keep warm, "Look over here, dreamboat" when Josh Hartnett (yes, the other guy who isn't Ben Affleck from "Pearl Harbor") was on stage, having Alexandra Kerry's documentary camera girl keep her camera in me and Megan's grill for what felt like 2 hours (maybe it was only 3 minutes), and just being there. It was awesome. That's the stuff, man.

WHAT? SHE'S GAY?
Funny how no one talked about Kerry sweeping the debates after the Cheney's got on stage to complain about Kerry citing their gay daughter. Do I think it was offsides for Kerry to include his daughter in the debate? No, but I don't think it was necessary. The question here is: if the Cheney's don't want their lesbian daughter (that they, to their credit, seem to care so much about that the Vice-President publicly disagrees with the President) to be in the spotlight, then why make such a big deal about it?

Patrick Guierro, ED of the Log Cabin Republicans (I really don't understand them), was right - what is more appalling is the use by the Republicans to make homosexuality a wedge issue in the battleground states and distributing outlandish flyers that suggest that homosexuals are anti-Bible, anti-family - like they're anti-apple pie. For crying out loud, it's wrong and they know it. And the funny thing is, it did it's job, didn't it? Now no one is talking about the debates and how Bush is plainly lying on the campaign trail and avoiding Iraq like the plague. Hmm, interesting how the spin goes.

And as far as Sinclair goes with the anti-Kerry documentary, that's just hypocrisy to the max. I saw the guy on CNN saying, "This isn't partisan at all, we've given Senator Kerry the right to come on after the documentary with a group of Vietnam veterans to answer their questions about his record." When they pointed out that not only did they deny Ted Koeppel the right to read the names of the Iraqi dead because it was a "politically motivated move" and that a majority of their higher ups are close to the Republicans and the President, the guy countered with, "What is more appalling to me is that the Senator refuses to sit down with these American patriots who served honorably and answer some questions about his record. These men are American heroes. There's nothing political about it."

Are you kidding me? What about the troops who died in Iraq? Isn't it appalling that you blocked a simple reading of the names of soldiers who died serving our country? Fair is fair, friends. Come on, we're not that stupid. And I seriously think it will backfire. Seriously.

REASON TO HATE EMBASSY SUITES #5862J
Not only have they still not fixed the gym equipment, Megan noticed something missing from her room that I'm sure she will discuss at some point on her blog. Plus, channels have been stuck for days, and that wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't Nick at Nite, you bastards! That's what I come home to! The kids who run up and down the halls and ride up and down the elevators can pound on the grand piano in the lobby, but I can't play an Elton John song quietly. I still don't have a new TV guide, I'm still not getting the turn-down service, and they need new cereal. Am I kvetching too much here? Not if I'm staying in a hotel for more than 40 days. Weak, man. Weak.

MINI-MUFFINS IN GREEN AND WHY YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE CAPTIONS FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DINNER
Our International President, Gerald McEntee, was in town on Saturday because he was emceeing the annual Jefferson Jackson Dinner for the Iowa Democratic Party. So we had a rally in the morning with the UAW called "American Jobs are Worth Fighting For." It was a lot of fun - and there were a lot of people there. A sea of green and blue. There are pictures below. Vanessa Kerry was there and she spoke. President McEntee ripped into Bush - he is awesome to listen to. We were motivated, all right. After the rally was over, we marched to the Iowa Republican Party Office and delivered a box of pink slips for President Bush. Nothing like the rush of 500 people chanting "Union" and clogging the streets. Hell yeah. While they marched, I snapped pictures of these adorable kids wearing AFSCME shirts. Since we have shirts that basically go from Large all the way up, this little muffin was wearing an XXXL shirt and he couldn't have been more than 3 and a half feet tall. The cutest little mini-muffin I ever saw.

Meanwhile, back at the dinner...

I learned how to knit! Megan taught me while we sat at will-call for over four hours (we had to set-up early and since we had some time to kill before the event started, we multi-tasked). But we all had a great time. President McEntee introduced the guests: Gov. Tom Vilsack, Vanessa Kerry, and Al Franken. It was fun. The dinner was at the Vet's Auditorium, normally used for sporting events, the stage was in the middle and the tables were set around it, so it was much like theatre in the round. There were folks in the balcony watching and we were on the ground eating during the program - it was a little strange, but interesting. See, they set it up so that there were screens above the stage, like at Madison Square Garden, and they had someone working the captions during the speeches. Parts of it were meant to be serious, but we didn't really know that. Because either they were screwing up the captions or had parts of it on voice recognition or something - try to explain these gems from that evening (yes, I wrote them down, I'm a geek, I know):

"A Gram I winner" for "Grammy Winner"
"evil do ears" for "evildoers"
"Inch sure general see" for "insurgency"
"Air E. Flesh" for "Ari Fleischer," former Press Secretary for President Dumb Ass
"Governor of Pencil" for "Governor of Pennsylvania"
"Pet you lance" for "petulance"
"Cook peace" for "codpiece" - don't ask, it was an Al Franken thing
"S.U. Kansas City it up!" for "SUCK IT UP!" - again, and Al Franken thing
"Pie rat suit" for "pirate suit"
"you night ears" for "uniters"
"Pas shun eight" for "passionate"
"urology" for "ideology"

and my favorite:
"been Dick shun" for "benediction"

The captions were distracting, to say the least. But they were amusing as hell.

After the dinner, we went to Blues on Grand for some blues and drinks before reitiring to Carl's for the nightcap and some darts. Needless to say, some of us might have had too much to drink and if we were lacking for good gossip, we might have gotten our wish this Saturday. Chaz the Quatro, whom we haven't seen in weeks, was in rare form that evening. I had an unexpected guest pass out on my couch, but thankfully so - she was not in a state to drive. It was a late evening, for sure, but it was some fun.

NOTHING LIKE A HOME-COOKED MEAL
So despite a late evening on Saturday into the wee hours of the morn on Sunday, we had a 9am meeting in the office. Neeeat. We were tapped by the end of it. But the good news was that Adam, another member of our staff, had bet Rob (a two-week member of our staff), Jessica, Megan, and I dinner on our Bronx Bombers for game 3. After the Yanks polished off a 19-9 win, we were guaranteed a nice dinner for Rob's last night in town, so we decided to cook. Judy, who is the best, let us commandeer her kitchen for a good part of Sunday night and we had a feast of Maryland crab cakes, garlic mashed potatos, grilled steak, broccoli and tofu stir-fry for the veggies (I still remember Ari's recipe), cookies, and strawberry daquiris - while she also let us do our laundry. Judy rocks. It was the perfect cap to a crazed week and to get us rejuvenated for the upcoming one. And my stomach has never been happier since I got here, not that you needed to know that, but trust me, home cooking makes us all feel very, very good.

Oy. That was my week in a nutshell. It's taken me three drafts before this was finished. And it's sad to think that I have now been in this office more than I've gotten sleep in the last week. But it feels good 'cause we can feel it's making a difference out here. Which is good for all of us.

And now, for the pictures of the week (when my camera was being cooperative). I hope you're all well out there.


This is the Iowa Statehouse and it's gorgeous. In fact, it was used as the model for the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz.


Phil Robinson speaking to AFSCME staff at Council 61 HQ.


"American Jobs are Worth Fighting For" Rally.




Vanessa Kerry at the rally.


Look at these little pooters!


The mini muffins! Note the one in the middle with his little "Jerry for Kerry" sign. Awwww!


The view of Des Moines from the Capitol. Our hotel is about midway on the left.

Ah. That was fun. I'd give you a cookie for getting this far, but I don't have any. And chances are, I'm not in your immediate area. But anyway. Back to work.