Shot in the ass! And you're to blame, Iowa...you give love...a bad name...

This is a pic I took when Jess and I went out doorknocking.

So here's a confession I've got. About three days ago, I noticed some bumps on my upper arm. The next day, I noticed more on my other arm, some on my ankles, some on my wrist.

I was convinced I had chiggers.

Or an allergic reaction.

Either way, it was weird.

Anyway, Jess and Megan were worried about my condition and suggested I see a doctor. So two days later, they're not getting any better, I'm thinking that they're some sort of reaction to something, and then I start to get freaked out.

So I go to the clinic to get them looked at.

Contact Dermatitis.

Otherwise known as: an allergic reaction.

It was most likely due to ragweeds and pollen in the air - all from that Harkin Steak Fry, I'm guessing.

Neeeeat.

So the possible cures are taking oral steriods or getting a shot.

Strangely enough, I opted for the shot. Go figure.

So I'm sitting in the clinic, looking at my arm, trying to figure out where the nurse might inject me, when she walks into the room and says, "Okay, give me your right hip."

In a second, the image of Delia and her cabin getting rabies shots at Bristol Hills flashed into my head.

Yeah. Steroids in the hip. Why didn't I think of that?

So I was shot with steriods in my hip, which sounds cool until your entire right leg from your hip starts to go a little tingly. Then you start feeling really tired. Then you start feeling really awake. The sun is too bright. The flourescent lights are too bright. You can't sleep. The right side of your body is tender. You feel out of it. Your ass falls asleep - all these things happened to me yesterday.

And of course, insert your favorite 'roid rage joke here - I've heard them all today.

You're probably asking at this point - um, do you work?

Yes. I work a lot.

Today we also went doorknocking, which was interesting because we ended up leaving as the sun was going down and it's really hard to go doorknocking when you can't read the driving directions or the numbers on the houses. The picture above is from driving around Ankeny. It's a strange mix of suburb in the middle of farm land - and this is a dead corn crop, basically. In fact, all of Iowa is ridiculously dry this time of year. I should buy stock in chapstick or body lotion.

As if my day hasn't been funky enough, I came home to a hotel room that was once again opened and this time with lights on and my bed turned down. Megan and Jess scoured the area for perps (I've been watching a lot of "Family Bonds") while I called the front desk. Mr. Peppy Manager Chris answers again, this time more serious.

Apparently, I am a Hilton gold member, so I get complimentary turn-down service.

Did that just happen today?

Because I hadn't been getting turn-down service since I got there. Chris seemed surprised. Meanwhile, Jess and Megan are feeding me lines to tell him - "This is a safety concern." "I should feel secure when I leave." All I can hear is Chris asking me, "But I'm concerned about your security, are you okay?"

Phew. Good thing I had been injected with steriods earlier in the day to deal with that.

Bottom line: they're gonna fix my door. And it better be fixed by the time I get home tomorrow night. Or else I'm gonna 'roid rage it up.